timestamps: 1:36 - introduction; 5:25 - housekeeping; 16:00 - waking up to my existence; 17:48 - catching up with myself in bali; 33:20 - figuring out who i am in this timeline; 36: 51 - hobby talk, starring cozy gaming; 42:00 - molding this space together; 43:03 - closing remarks
trigger warning(s): prescription medication
links mentioned in podcast: paper magazine lays off staff, citing economic headwinds; medieval tavern music; 2017 report on cozy gaming; spiritfarer; “the girl with stars in her eyes” by xio axelrod; lofi + gamer vibes on geneva
welcome to may 🌸🌿 & happy taurus season (i love y’all down). this new chapter of this newsletter has been giving me butterflies. written with intention and vulnerability in between each line, i hope the love is felt as we embark on this path of self-discovery, intentional (cozy) living, and community building. the above podcast episode is an introduction to moná, who i am today and how i got here—this will be important in our travels together.
in theme with getting to know where i’ve been for the past four months, i’m including a few stories and reads i enjoyed along the way. this list is not exhaustive of course; if anything peaks your interest, let me know and we can geek out together. welcome.
affirmation of the week, courtesy of the chani app: i am allowed to begin again. as often as needed and as much as is necessary, i am free to press restart. — chani nicholas
+ a couple quit their jobs to create their own cozy game about living in a solarpunk, sustainable city titled loftia. it’s still in development and you can watch their journey on instagram and join their discord to be a part of the process.
+ i recently followed gender non-conforming author, poet, all-around artist ALOK on instagram and, i have never fallen in love with a human being faster. during their interview with dmag, they shared an introspective question on self-worth in this content-driven world that i think we can all reflect on: “am i okay in my quiet, in my stillness, in my inability to have an output? do i feel enough and worthy and successful, maybe even triumphant, simply for being?” i, too, am working on being proud “for my audience of one.”
+ in response to writer jackie hill perry’s recent sermon(?) on religion, spirituality, and mental health in the Black community, formally seminary-trained theologian donnell mclachlan shared his 2021 research paper titled, “Is The Black Church Anti-Black?: The Black Church, The Religion of White Supremacy, and the African Diaspora's Identity Crisis.” i’ve never heard of jackie, but from the twitter girlies, she’s in her own battle with her sexuality and that’s above all of us.
+ i found this article from polygon written by nicole carpenter on keepsake gaming in my twitter bookmarks where a guided role-playing exploration leads to creating a personal, tangible object at the end. talk about archival, right? i might pick up field guide to memory myself and report back. sidebar: after some snooping, i saw she also wrote about these pokémon squishmallows!?! 🤩🤩
+ brooklyn magazine interviewed Dominatrix Mistress Marley to discuss financial domination and a viral 2019 video of her bringing a (white) submissive to her hbcu homecoming. i remember the clip and was turned off because i’m not a fan of public displays of BDSM. our community gets enough scrutiny. but after reading the interview, it seems it was somewhat of a special circumstance? i’m still on the fence, but i’m all for Black Dom/mes getting their coin.
+ the role Black women (fans and artists alike) play in supporting repeat abusers in the music industry is discussed by noella williams for the recently shuttered paper magazine. (stop supporting these men, the internalized misogynoir, as suggested by hanna phifer, is lowkey embarrassing)
+ a friend recently introduced me to the beautiful world of japanese director hayao miyazaki and my heart just cracked right on open. so reading this interview from tasha robinson with the spirited away: live on stage stage director john caird for polygon was a joy.
+ let’s watch these together and discuss (i’m always down for a film chat) 🥰 “7 essential queer films from south korea, japan, taiwan and cambodia” by james balmont for i-D magazine.
+ for the nerds who love reading reports like i do, here’s one on journalism, media, and tech trends and predictions for 2023. tldr; there might be a paid version of this newsletter sooner than i think (and i promise it’ll be so fun and worth the cost. i already have cute plans for those subscribers!).
+ i loved this video essay (and many more) from elexus of intelexual media on Black women and our insistent internet conversations on personal hygiene. i always thought it was such a nuanced and complex conversation (and rather exhausting) so i’m glad someone with sense gave the discourse a proper historical breakdown.
+ self-care—as in keeping up with your hair, skin, and nail maintenance routines on a regular basis, from daily to monthly—is not always fun, and we really need to get honest about that. ariel baker’s personal essay for popsugar prompts everyone to look at their rituals and consider: am i still enjoying all this work?
+ a recent instagram post from the queer dating app, her, boldly stated “non-binary lesbians exist” and me and my friend who i was on facetime with at the time of my scrolling were very confused. under the post, i commented: the caption didn't answer the question they proposed, and i feel like if you're going to say "nb lesbians have always existed" can we have some sort of evidence of this? conversations around identity can be had, but responses like "i just feel this way" while ignoring definitions seems counterintuitive/counterproductive (and irresponsible as a brand if we're being honest). the account directed me to read the accompanying article on the history, and i did. and if i’m being honest: i’m still a little confused. so i’ll be digging more into the topic to have a better understanding, but i’m sharing for those who are also interested in the growing labels conversations.
a writing prompt for us to discuss in the comments section (or email if that’s more comfortable):
when was the last time you felt at home in your body?
thank you for listening, reading, subscribing, sharing, and simply being your amazing self. have a beautiful week.
m. 🤍
the pursuit of archival